Friday, January 6, 2012

Life stuff...

The past couple of days have sucked lots. I'm bummed out and having a hard time hiding it. I feel like if I don't pretend to be happy that my dad will feel guilty. Fucking lameness. On Wednesday, I made chili. It wasn't bad, I suppose. Everyone ate it without complaint. I made homemade seitan and put it in there, they thought it was mushrooms. Whatevs.

Then, I went into town to hangout with my middle school best friend. It was awkward to say the least. She was already lit by the time I got there and I was pretty uncomfortable. The point of no return was when I decided that it would be a good idea to smoke pot with her. I got waaaaaaaaaaay too fucked up, wretched my guts up all over the toilet for a half an hour and then made up a bullshit excuse, fled the hotel and drove home. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed. I'm such an asshole to people that drink and drive and I did it anyways. Like an asshole. Fucking depressing.

Home life hasn't been much better. Dad has been seriously antsy. He can't accept that he's not completely capable and I think he's just going to have to get hurt before he understands. Whatever. I can't convince him. He was being a dick last night about the food I cooked. Like I'm so fucking happy to be eating diet food. I'm getting really sick of his snarky comments. It makes me not want to even try to cook stuff that tastes good. Tonight he wanted to get Japanese take-out. So we did. I guess once a week isn't bad and at least it was chicken, not red meat.

I bought a food processor today. I hope it's amazing. I've never had one.

Hope this weekend is better than the past couple of days. I need to focus my shitty energy into getting our stuff unpacked and rearranged. My room is so gross. I can't believe I'm living with my parents. My life is such a joke.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Banana Ice Cream

I found a recipe that looked like a lot of bullshit wherein you just blend up sliced frozen bananas and it's magically ice cream. So, I tried it. Sliced the bananas and froze them with intentions of blending them up with a spoonful of peanut butter and a couple of spoons of cocoa powder. It was good but the blender sucks and got stuck. By the time I got it to blend up it had melted again so I had to refreeze it. I REALLY need a food processor.

I'm really starting to get worried about the money situation. I need to get my license switched so that I can get Darcy enrolled in school and get a job. Too much stress =( I think it's getting to me... I was up all night writhing in pain, freezing to death and chattering my teeth. I ended up throwing up. Don't know what had me so sick. I feel okay today. I think I might take advantage of having a sick day and be lazy. Not that I've been exceptionally motivated or anything...

Sunday, January 1, 2012

"Easy Wheat Bread"
So, I've always been seriously intimidated by the thought of baking bread. It just seems so complicated. Turns out that aside from being time consuming it's really pretty easy, just lots of waiting involved. I used this fantastic recipe from I was more than impressed. I hope to conquer my fear of bread making soon! I plan to try a grainier version and also a zucchini banana version.

For dinner tonight I made spaghetti with homemade marinara and whole wheat noodles. The sauce took FOREVER! Maybe I could find a good recipe for in the future. I decided to just wing it and make up my own recipe. I boiled & skinned the tomatoes, sauteed a bunch of garlic and two big onions and simmered it for a couple of hours. I had to break down & make a run for tomato paste as it ended up being sort of a funky unappetizing looking color. The whole idea is to not scare Dad away from eating healthy. Anyhow, they loved it. Success! Unfortunately, the bread didn't get finished until after dinner (what, with the five hours of rising...) but it made a fantastic dessert. I'm going to work on a vegan butter recipe that I found next and hopefully eliminate that from the house. I was initially worried but I think as long as we take it one day at a time we'll make this transition!

We had lots of visitors today. My grandma and grandpa came by for a little visit. She's still amazing and he's still an asshole, somethings never change. After that my brother Jamie came by with his wife & youngest child. Luckily, he helped dad and I unload ALL of my stuff off the trailer tonight. Fucking astounding! I'm so happy he did because not long after it rained. Woo-hoo!